Shake, Rattle, Roll, & Survive

In light of the recent rash of earthquakes in Southern California (and apparently one in Washington? WTF?) I am going to do you all a favor and tell you about disaster preparedness. A public service, if you will. My contribution to the collective civil consciousness.

You’re welcome.

Historically, I wasn’t the best at preparing for disasters of any kind--natural or otherwise. Then I started dating a Navy man and was introduced to something which (according to him and the Navy man I dated after him and all of their friends) was a ubiquitous pastime among the junior enlisted: The Zombie S.O.P.

An S.O.P., or Standard Operating Procedure, is an A-to-Z plan for what to do in case of [fill in the blank]. They are not strictly for disasters or large events--they can be a guide to how to complete a task, or a job as a whole. They can be a short bulleted list, or a comprehensive manual with chapters and appendices and charts and all manner of informational foofaraw. The Zombie S.O.P.s created by my former Navy dudes and their buddies were obviously more fantastical than factual, but the fact remained that they were an exercise in disaster preparedness--the zombie part just made it more fun. And let’s face facts: if you’re prepared for zombies, you’re prepared for anything.

You want to start with the five basic questions--who, what, when, where, and how?

The ‘who’ is obviously yourself and anyone else for whom you may be responsible. Draw up a rota of anyone else you need (or choose, you can always have an ‘emergency group’) to know how to get in contact or meet up with.

The ‘what’ is your disaster preparedness kit. You can find a gazillion lists of recommended items for these all over the internet so I won’t get into too much detail here, but you want to cover food, water, and shelter at a minimum. Beyond that you can include anything else you think you need. Medications and first aid supplies, pet food and supplies, a change of clothes and shoes--whatever. Make sure your kit or kits are stocked and packed up and in a place where everyone who needs to know about them can find them easily. I keep my kit in my car, because nine times out of ten my car is where I am. (I’ll take the chance on that other tenth of the time--I draw the line at dragging my earthquake kit on public transit.)

Part of the ‘when’ is obvious--when a disaster occurs. The other part of the ‘when’ I think of as a kind of a curfew. Depending upon the distance you may be from the other members of your emergency group, you’ll want to set some sort of timeline for making contact with each other, especially if telephones and cell towers are down. “If we aren’t all here within two hours, we’ll start to worry,” would be fine if everyone is in close geographical proximity. The further away people are, the longer the time frame. Depending upon the severity of the disaster, you may want to set a sliding scale for time limits. Of course, it’s all up to you, and I realize that there’s a lot of extra thought required for things like sliding scales, so set up what you’re comfortable with. For my part, I figure if half the state falls into the ocean I want my people to show up within 24 hours or it’s every man for himself. “Leave no man behind” doesn’t apply in the zombie apocalypse.

For most people, the ‘where’ will be their home, and that makes perfect sense for family units. If your group consists of more than one household, however, you will want to select a central location that will be simple enough to get to but unlikely to be crowded.

As long as you know where your stuff is and where your people are (as best the communication situation will allow) and you keep a clear head, everything will eventually be fine. Earthquakes are my ‘area of specialty’ because I live in California--the best thing to do if you’re indoors is to get underneath something and protect your head as best you can. (I’ve seen arguments against the ‘triangle’, door frames, and trying to get outside circulating recently, so I’ll stick with the ol’ tried and true.) If you’re outside, try to stay clear of anything that could potentially fall on you. If you’re in an area where your disasters are tornadoes or hurricanes or something else, follow the guidelines you’re used to.

Oh, and ‘how’. Mustn’t forget ‘how’.

BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY.

Be safe, y’all.