Between the lines

A while ago I emailed my Ob/Gyn and inquired about permanent birth control options. Their reply managed to ignite my ire in a big way, and when they got to the 'regret statistic' I threw up my hands. I didn't have the emotional bandwidth to have the argument for the umpteenth time with the umpteenth human that yes, I really was sure that I didn't want any children.

Since there are Nefarious Plots Afoot to set this country's progress back several thousand years, my emotional bandwidth suddenly, miraculously increased. I sent a new email this week.

Here is the version I actually sent:

 

Hi Dr. So-and-so,

We had discussed [Procedure A] & [Procedure B] for me last year. We left off with the "regret statistic". I haven't had the emotional bandwidth to have that discussion (for the umpteenth time, with any human being) until recent events lit a metaphorical fire under a certain portion of my non-metaphorical anatomy.

Please be assured that I am as certain today as I was ten years ago when I decided that babies are very much NOT in my life plan. 

I would like to have both procedures listed above performed. If possible, I'd like to have them done at the same time, as I'm going to need to be sedated for [Procedure A].

Please let me know what our next steps are...[blah, blah, blah]

Thanks,
-Etc.

 

Minimal soap-boxing, really, but enough to get my point across. I hope. Here is the version I did NOT send:

 

Hi Dr. So-and-so,

We had discussed [Procedure A] & [Procedure B] for me last year. We left off with the "regret statistic". I haven't had the emotional bandwidth to have that discussion (for the umpteenth time, with any human being) until recent events lit a metaphorical fire under a certain portion of my non-metaphorical anatomy.

Please be assured that I am as certain today as I was ten years ago when I decided that babies are very much NOT in my life plan. I will elaborate, because it seems that to the general public that my simply saying, "No, thank you," is perpetually insufficient.

I do not wish to enter into the biological enterprise of pregnancy and its subsequent obligations. My reasons include, but are not limited to, the following.

-The US has one of the highest maternal mortality rates in the First World
-Between environmental destruction and political and religious B.S., we are most decidedly NOT leaving this world a better place for future generations, and it is my personally held belief that bringing yet more humans into the mix is both selfish and irresponsible
-There are an untold number of children already in this world who, through no fault of their own, are without families, and really ought to take precedence over any newly created humans
-I personally find pregnancy altogether repulsive

I would like to have both procedures listed above performed. If possible, I'd like to have them done at the same time, as I'm going to need to be sedated for [Procedure A].

Please let me know what our next steps are...[blah, blah, blah]

Thanks,
-Etc.

I mean, I didn't want to overwhelm the doctor...but part of me still thinks that maybe the full, uncensored version is the superior version, and I ought to have sent it on principle.

Then again, I don't want to get put on the High Council of Ob/Gyn's blacklist. I mean, at some point someone is going to have to deal with the parts of me that I'd like adjusted. It doesn't do to go 'round the place alienating people who might be useful.

Even if they refuse to take you seriously in the beginning.

Yeah, I'm still pissed about that.