Unpopular Opinions

Unpopular opinions. We all have them. Every single one of us has at least one thing that we just can’t stand, and the rest of the world thinks we’re cuckoo bananapants when we own up to it. They’re usually something mundane, something other people take for granted as a universal truth, which is why everyone goes apeshit when you say, oh, I don’t know, “I don’t like parfait”.



Oh, Donkey. That will never NOT be funny.

To be honest, I’m not that mad about parfait, but I wouldn’t blackball it from my list of things I’ll eat. No, the unpopular food opinion for which I take the most flack is my aversion to strawberries.

Yeah. Strawberries.

I really don’t like them. I have a visceral reaction to the smell of them. In the summer, when all the grocery stores have them right inside the front doors, I have to hold my breath when I go in--otherwise… ::HURK::

I come by this particular food quirk honestly. On my father’s side, my grandmother and one of my aunts absolutely love the things, but everybody else exists somewhere in the realm of ‘meh’. They’ll eat them, but they aren’t the highest on the list of berries they’d like to be eating. As for me, I can’t handle them on their own. Again, ::HURK:: If there are strawberries in a smoothie--not as the primary fruit--I’m okay, but if it’s straight strawberries, or anything strawberry flavored or centric, NO, THANK YOU.

So that’s my biggie.

But this next one, oh, this next one...you’re probably all going to come find me with your torches and your pitchforks and then you’ll drag me out in the street and shoot me.

Are you ready? Do you think you can take it? Do you think you can handle this opinion of mine, which is possibly one of the most unpopular opinions there ever was and ever will be, amen?

Well, all right. But don’t say I didn’t warn you.

::takes deep breath::

GIRL SCOUT COOKIES ARE TERRIBLE AND OVERRATED. YEAH, I SAID IT. I’M SORRY, BUT IT’S TRUE. THEY’RE OVERPRICED AND THEY TASTE LIKE CARDBOARD.

::hides behind sofa to write the rest of this post::

Yes, you read that correctly. I think Girl Scout cookies are a waste. I have nothing against the Girl Scouts, I think they’re a wonderful organization. I also think that their annual fundraiser is a very nice tradition and the proceeds go to good things and blah blah blah.

BUT THE COOKIES THEMSELVES ARE GROSS.

Everyone goes loopy and hunts down all the nine-year-olds they know around this time every year in order to buy ten thousand boxes of Thin Mints, and I just don’t get it. I’m sorry, but I don’t.

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Are you done being incensed yet?

I think that might be my most controversial opinion, really, at least insofar as foodstuffs are concerned. It’s practically un-American, isn’t it? But I shall not remain silent any longer! I HAVE AN OPINION, AND IT WILL BE HEARD! Even though you probably all hate me for it. And you’re all going to shun me forever. I just don’t get the appeal. Girl Scout cookies aren’t worth the price, and they don’t live up to the hype. There are plenty of other cookies out there I’d rather shovel into my gaping maw. And don’t even get me started on all the nonsense fringe products they’ve made over the years in Girl Scout cookie flavors. Nobody needs Thin Mint flavored lip balm!

Anyway, I bet the strawberry thing doesn’t seem so weird after that, does it?