After all, there’s only five more sleeps ‘til Christmas.

Which is weird, because I feel like I’ve been done with it since two weeks ago. I’ll be glad for the day off, but since I’m not doing anything to mark the holiday this year I’d be okay without it, really. Oh, I have my lights up outside and a few little decorations in the house, but I didn’t bother with the full tree or anything and because I’m a grown-up no one gets me presents any more, so overall it’s going to be a slightly-more-decorated-than-usual-random-weekday-off.

And I’m not mad about that.

I’m finding that the older I get, the less build up there is to what were in the past very much anticipated holidays. What with all the family drama I don’t expect to see relatives (sometimes I do, but I don’t expect it to happen like it used to) so there’s no get-together to plan for. (I’m also not mad about this. Effort is not my friend. Nor are long-ish drives, overeating, and having to tell people ‘what I’m up to these days’.) Since I haven’t produced any small humans, I don’t have the constant barrage of school art projects and recitals and letters to St. Nick to serve as glittery, red-and-white striped reminders. I’m not churchey, so there’s no giant plastic light-up nativity to guide me towards a house of worship. I quit dancing in college, so THANK THE BALLET GODS THERE IS NO NUTCRACKER* TO PERFORM!

No, none of that nonsense this year. I’ve already done all of my designated holiday-making, what with the annual carol-singing party and the Party Which We Will Not Speak Of Again, so it feels distinctly odd to look around and see store parking lots still slammed and decorations still going up and hear Christmas music still on the radio, even though the calendar proves that the holiday itself has yet to occur. I’m done. Shouldn’t you all be done, too? Can we put this crap away yet?

Nope. Despite my having managed to get things over and done with ahead of schedule, the rest of the population seems determined to celebrate on time. Very well, then, I’ll indulge you.

I do have my own little Christmas traditions that I’ll enjoy on the ‘for-real’ holiday. On Christmas Eve I’ll watch The Muppet Christmas Carol and How the Grinch Stole Christmas (there is only one--fight me). On Christmas Day I’ll sleep in, give the ratties their Christmas presents (yes, shut up), and then at some point I’ll watch both The Thin Man and Desk Set which are set around Christmas time and are therefore Christmas movies I don’t care what anyone says. Other than that, it’ll just be like any other day off. Maybe I’ll use real sugar in my coffee that morning. Maybe my meals will consist of nothing but fancy cheese. Maybe I’ll leave the Christmas lights on all day. I’m just going to do whatever I feel like doing, and that’s my Christmas present to myself.

The sad part is that in a way it feels completely unfair. There are so many people who desperately wish they didn’t have to be alone for the holidays, and here I am waxing poetic about how I get to be alone and I’m thrilled about it...it just seems wrong. To a point. I do feel for people who aren’t able to celebrate they way they’d like to, but I’m classifying Christmas-for-One as self care, and that’s just that. Hell, I might even go so far as to spend the day only plugged in enough to watch my movies. No email, no telephone, no social media...that sounds kind of fantastic, actually.

Oh, who am I kidding? I know I’ll think of something I’ll need to look up, and then I’ll be down the internet rabbit hole like usual.

Probably somewhere in between post-fancy-cheese-lunch-nap, and fancy cheese dinner.




*Funny side story--a colleague was showing a video of her daughter’s holiday dance recital to another of our colleagues and the music was the snow scene from the Nutcracker and I started having flashbacks to the year I was an Icicle. “And flick! Flick! Flick! Flick! Flick! Turn! Flick! Turn!” The twitching stopped...eventually...