Here We Go A-Holidaying

You’ll be reading this on the Thanksgiving holiday in the US.

For most of us, this means that the holiday season is in full swing and we are up against a constant barrage of parties and food and who knows what else. The office party, family get-togethers, your kids’ (if you have them or know them) school holiday activities, church stuff if you’re into that, Secret Santa gift exchanges with just about any group you’re in...it’s a lot to cram into a two-month period.

If I were one to subscribe wholeheartedly to convention I would make this post about being grateful for what we have, giving to those less fortunate, and rejoicing in the holiday chaos because...I don’t know...memories or something, but if you haven’t guessed it yet, I ain’t-a gonna do that.

I’m just going to come out and say it: The holidays are stressful.

Not everyone has a Hallmark holiday where their family behaves as if they were vomited forth from a Lifetime movie. Some people spend their holidays alone because they have no one to spend them with. Some people have suffered the loss of a friend or family member at this time of the year in the past and the season brings up unpleasant memories for them which prevents them from enjoying things as much as they might otherwise. Some people are unable to celebrate the way they would like due to financial restrictions or a family member away serving their country or a prohibitive work schedule. Some people have difficult family situations, but because of expectation and obligation they go along with things to keep everyone happy.

I’m in that last category. I could fill you in with a whole heap of family history, but the abridged version is that everyone hates my dad, and while to an extent they have a point, he’s still my dad, ya know? So I’ve been in the middle for years now to a greater or lesser degree, and while everyone swears up and down that it’s not a ‘guilt by association’ situation, it still feels weird, and I end up wearing myself out having to be ‘on’ during any family gathering. And I have to carry around the kernel of knowledge that my parents have been purposefully excluded, which honestly makes me feel ill. I’d rather not be involved at all if it would save me this endless push-and-pull feeling, but you know how family can be—you can say “No, thank you,” all you want and it doesn’t seem to make a smidgen of difference. Somehow I always end up going. At least this year it’s just a family pre-Christmas gathering and I get a reprieve from the family drama for Thanksgiving with just one aunt and uncle and a whole slew of their friends, but it’s still an entire day of being ‘on’ and I know I’m going to need to spend the rest of the (long!) weekend recovering from it.

So now I find myself (and my complete inability to just throw my hands up and say “Fuck it!”) needing to find ways to retain at least a modicum of what is left of my ever-shrinking sanity. I’ve already seen the ‘listicles’ circulating the Internet—’Five Ways to Beat the Holiday Blues’, ‘Three Little Things You Can Do to Have a Less Anxious Holiday Season’, ‘Seven Thousand Eight Hundred Fifty-Two Self Care Tips from Pinterest Enthusiasts’—but we all know there’s no one-size-fits-all when it comes to looking after yourself. Personally, I plan to do the following:

• Read whatever strikes my fancy. It’s a fantastic escapist tactic I’ve been using since I was six.
• Color. I have an enormous pile of adult coloring books and an equally enormous pile of things with which to color them.
• Reorganize something. (I know, I’m weird, but I like all of that sorting and throwing things out business and my desk is just begging for it right now.)
• Take naps.
• Snuggle my furbabies—at least, as much as they’ll let me. They’re busybusybusy little critters!
• Have long baths, though with the air quality here in California being what it is at the moment I’m probably going to have to skip the candles, darnit…
• Watch any of my ‘comfort shows’ as a marathon.

And, if all else fails:

• Drink heavily. (Though to be entirely honest, the drinking will probably accompany all of the above activities.)

Basically, I’m going to do everything in my power to keep myself afloat through the end of the year. I hope that if you’re in for a whirlwind of a yuletide season—or whatever your celebration of choice—that you either are looking forward to it wholeheartedly, or that you will take a leaf out of my book and do the best you can to be kind to yourself.