Here's where you get to point and call "NERD!"

Last Saturday, I went to San Francisco Comic Con.

::waits::

Are you done? Did you get it all out of your system? Good. Moving on.

Sadly, I missed the con last year because they used to hold it Labor Day weekend and I was out of town, but I get the feeling that enough people complained and this year they changed the weekend — hooray! On a scale of one-day-comic-shop-indie-con to San Diego Comic Con, San Francisco probably sits just south of medium. It’s big enough, though, for someone like me to only be able to manage one day. (Crowds and noise are not my friends.)

For those of you who have never been, a comic book convention is basically an enormous gathering of individuals sharing an interest in comics and related media and enjoying a day or weekend of activities surrounding said interest. Cons hold different appeal for different people. Some people love cosplay and enter the competitions and fashion shows. Some people are strictly there to dig through the stacks brought by comic book vendors in an attempt to find the elusive ‘Hedgehog Boy #67, Hedgehog Boy vs. Porcupine Girl, the Wedding Issue!’ Some people go for the gaming, be it video or tabletop or some other format. Some people go because their favorite celebrities are slated for appearances.

Some people go because their partners or kids love this kind of thing and because they love their partners and kids they are willing to brave the masses. You can always spot these people — they’re the ones standing off to the side, smiling indulgently and carrying numerous bags of their partner’s or kids’ purchases.

Personally, I love panel discussions — they’re a lot like college lectures, except, you know, interesting*. Cons will publish their event schedules ahead of the event itself which offers retentively organized types like me the opportunity to pre-plan their entire day. I had a spreadsheet.

Shut up.

I could give you a blow-by-blow of ‘How I Spent My Comic Con’, but I think we’ll just cover some highlights, hmm? I had two stand-out favorite panels this year, the first of which was entitled ‘Kaiju Law’, and the blurb read:

Who is financially responsible for Acts of Godzilla? Is King Kong protected by the Endangered
Species Act? Does Gamera have a duty to rescue children? Join us for When Monsters Attack
as our panel of attorneys and Kaiju do battle over Carl Denham's liability for Kong's rampage
across New York, whether the United States has a treaty obligation to defend Japan from
Godzilla, and whether any companies could be responsible for Hedorah clean-up costs.

It was presented by actual, real-life attorneys, and the recording can be found HERE. I won’t spoil it for you in case you decide to listen, but the gist of it is that if you import a gigantic ape from some island far away it is considered an invasive species and therefore not covered by the Endangered Species Act, the importer becomes responsible for any blondes it may or may not toss out of windows, and in the event of an enormous-radioactive-lizard-created tsunami your flood insurance will cover you, but you’re probably not covered for house-destruction-by-large-scaly-feet.

Keeping in the theme of ‘applying real-life constructs to comics’, my other favorite panel was Criminal Psychology: Arkham Case Studies, where we discussed Dr. Harleen Quinzel’s transformation into Harley Quinn as a result of vicarious traumatization from her time treating the Joker, and how intent negates an insanity plea because it indicates that at some point, the perpetrator knew that their actions were illegal. So basically, if you slaughter a bunch of people, don’t hide the evidence and then try to claim that you didn’t know what you were doing.

Those were the high points. I went to a couple of other panels and a couple of comedy shows and bought a ton of Blackhawk comics (because somehow I accidentally ended up collecting them a couple of years ago and now I feel compelled to get hold of all of them.)

You know, if you had told me ten years ago that I’d not only go to a comic book convention, but also manage to find something to enjoy about it, I’d have told you that you were cut off and taken away your car keys. And yet, here we are. If you’re skeptical, I encourage you to do a little research — there’s so much more to the comic book scene than superheroes. I guarantee you can find something that feeds an interest for you.

Who knows? Maybe you’ll find a series or writer or artist you like enough to make you consider a convention when you find out they’ll be at one near you.

Never say never.



*I’m talking about the giant gen-ed lectures where you’re herded into a lecture hall with 378 of your closest friends, not the classes you actually wanted to take. I could happily have listened to my Shakespeare professor witter on for ages about scansion. In fact, I did. And this is a man who, in that same class, hit me.**

**That doesn’t read well out of context. I assure you it was appropriate at the time. Maybe I’ll write about it at some point.