Participation!

Last weekend was the year-end showcase at one of my dance studios.

This was a Big Deal. We didn't get to have one last year. It sucked the most for the kids who were graduating, not getting to have that last hurrah, so it was exciting to be able to have one this year. A couple of the kids who graduated last year were involved, so they got to have at least a bit of that experience.

Now, the crummy thing about the adult division is that no one ever wants to perform with me, which means I never get to perform. Well, I did once a couple of years ago, but since then, no one has been willing to perform with me so I never get to play and it makes me saaaaaaad! So this year I volunteered instead. I filmed the livestreams all three nights. (Read, I showed up and pushed a button on an iPad.) (Okay, it was a little more complicated than that, and I did other things, too, but still.) Anyway, I got to be there and hang out with cool dance people and watch the kids and I even got given flowers for my troubles, which was a nice (if completely unnecessary) touch. The parents were thrilled that their kids were doing something, the kids enjoyed themselves, and the teachers got to watch every single thing they'd been trying to drill into the kids' heads all year go right out the window.

Well, for some of the kids, anyway.

The older kids and the competition team kids all did a wonderful job. The three-to-six-year-old contingent, on the other hand, did just about as well as you'd expect them to. You see, there are roles to be filled by the under-sevens. These are time-honored tropes, and the littles take them Very Seriously. In any dance recital where you find the smallest humans able to stand upright, you will find the following:

1. The Twirler

This child will get on stage, start to twirl, and not stop until the music stops--if they even stop then.

2. The Deer in the Headlights

This child will get on stage, realize they're being watched by a whole mess of people, and simply cease to be able to move. They will stand and stare helplessly for the duration of the song, and will likely have to be ushered off stage by their classmates or an attending teacher.

3. The Ham

This child will get on stage and immediately start doing everything they can to attract attention to themself. They will make faces, jump up and down, do the most exaggerated version of the dance they can, and grin all the while like the smug little shit that they are.

4. The Nose-Picker

Does what it says on the tin, really.

5. The Bobbsey Twins

These children are attached at the hip. Inseparable. The best of friends. While on stage they will hold hands, play with each other's costumes, and generally ignore everything going on around them.

6. The 'I-Don't-Want-To-Be-Here'

Mom or Dad or some combination thereof are requiring this extracurricular, and the child is less than thrilled about it. They will get on stage and go through the motions with little to no enthusiasm.

7. The "Hi Mommy!"

This child will get four-and-a-half inches onto the stage, find their family in the audience, and immediately start waiving and calling out to them. They may do a portion of the dance, but it will be an afterthought--they're much more interested in making sure their parents see them.

8. The Boss

(Okay, full disclosure--this was me. Hands up, who's surprised? No one? I thought so.) This child is a miniature professional. They were told not to wave to their parents, so they won't. They will go straight to their spot on the stage and execute their dance with accuracy. They paid attention in class, after all. This child will somehow manage to do the dance while simultaneously throwing some serious side-eye at their classmates, and looking world-weary and put-upon and completely exasperated with the nonsense going on around them all at once. 

So there you have it. And you didn't even have to buy a ticket!